I am the happiest man on Earth.
Today I had the pleasure of talking to Kamal from seductionbykamal.com. He’s agreed to answer my questions about methods of getting your ex back. This man is my idol. I’m delighted he’s offered to distill his advice here. Kamal is effective … and modest, which is VERY rare in this field. If I were in his place, and I had even 10% of his skill at seduction, I wouldn’t be modest at all!
Note from Kamal: woah! Antoine’s introduction is making me blush LOL
Antoine : In your coaching, do you frequently run across students who are trying to get their ex back?
Kamal from seductionbyKamal.com:Since we first started Net Coaching on seductionbykamal.com, a lot of my clients have wanted to get their exes back. The most interesting cases are the most complicated cases, like divorced men who want to get their wives back.
What are the basic tips that you give them to get an Ex Back ?
Here’s the basic rule:
To get your ex back, you have to get yourself back first.
Just after the breakup (2 to 5 days) there’s a moment when the guy who got dumped is begging for love from his ex, which is a pathetic strategy that produces NOTHING! So the first idea to put into practice is NEVER BEG. You got dumped, it’s not the end of the world, it happens with all couples, and sometimes it’s a necessary step.
Once you’ve been dumped, you have to accept reality, step back and analyze the situation, so you can get started with the adventure of getting your ex back!
Have you ever been in the situation being dumped?
It would be hypocrisy if I said “no,” so yes, I have indeed been in the position of getting dumped, and believe me, it was one of the hardest experiences of my life, but at the same time, an extraordinary phase, too.
Extraordinary ? Why ?
I was madly in love with my girlfriend at the time and I knew absolutely NOTHING about the world of seduction, and I could even say that the only reason I had that girlfriend was I got lucky. And if I hadn’t gone through that breakup, I wouldn’t have started personal development work on myself!
In your opinion, is it better to get your ex back or to embark on the conquest of a new lover?
Personally, I think the best way to get your ex back, is precisely not to try to get him / her back.
Here’s my story. When my girlfriend dumped me, she left our apartment and I ran behind her in the street begging her to change her mind and to give me a second chance. Everyone was looking at us. Utter shame.
Later, realizing that I’d lost all hope of getting her back, I decided to change my life. I changed my clothing style, the way I communicate with people etc… I read a lot of books about seduction. And it worked!
I met some nice girls, expanded my social circle, improved my lifestyle. I was thriving and everyone saw it, particularly my ex…
A year later, I’m dating the most beautiful college girl… I couldn’t believe it. And guess what happened next? My ex was desperate to get back in touch with me, I was the “successful” guy everybody talks about.
So I told her to get lost ^^ And the more I rejected her, the more she wanted to get me back…
How should you re-contact your ex? Text message? Email? Facebook? Phone?
If you send a text, she might not respond. Same thing goes for email or Facebook. In my view the best option is: the phone.
If you feel the need to talk to your ex, the best way is to give her a quick call. But careful! You need to remain subtle. I recommend making TWO calls at the very most, per day. If the ex doesn’t answer the phone, quietly hang up and retry in the evening. Still no answer? Wait for the next day and make two other calls, and that’s it.
What strategy should you use to get back your ex?
The strategy is very simple, I’ll summarize it in simple steps to follow:
1 – Don’t beg. THE number one thing! Your ex dumped you, ok, you have the right to panic a little, but not for long. Accept reality, analyze the situation, and prepare to create a second life without your ex!
2 – The post-breakup-call. You’re not going to try to get her back, you’re just seeing how she is, saying a quick hello, and sending her a subtle message: “I don’t want to get you back, I’m just seeing how you’re doing.” To do it, you need to speak in a deep, calm voice and smile (that’s right, smile through the telephone!) If you get an answer, cool, you have a chance of getting her back.
3 – The transition. This is the beginning of a great adventure! Your mission is all about one word: Change. You need to multiply your progress in personal development by a factor of 2, and to accomplish that you should:
• Start eating HEALTHY
• Work on your body, exercise
• Learn to do something practical and really useful
• Learn to make cocktails. Learn to cook too.
• Get a new clothing style, etc.
In brief … MAKE YOURSELF BETTER in your everyday life! Believe me, you’ll feel a lot better, and more than anything you’ll boost your self-confidence, so you’ll be incredibly prepared for the rest of the process.
4 – Live life to the fullest. This is the perfect time to enjoy life again, in the role of a single person. Don’t hide it, life is a lot more exciting when you’re single if you KNOW what you’re doing … And it isn’t very complicated, you just need to develop a social circle, or in other words, to expand it, and more importantly, to improve the quality of your lifestyle. Those two factors will open the door to great opportunities for meeting new people and, incidentally, new potential lovers. Because yes, the ONLY way to meet people, is through your social circle, which depends on the quality of your lifestyle.
5 – The comeback. Once you’ve rebuilt your life, and now you’re someone who’s thriving and happy with your life, you have two options: Either you reconnect with your ex, in order to get him / her back, or you simply continue on with your exciting life. If you’ve rebuilt your life PROPERLY, you won’t feel the NEED to get your ex. And that’s where the strategy is at its most effective!
Should you unfriend your ex on Facebook and set fire to your computer?
You should limit her access to your profile, she should only be able to see your profile pictures. Once you’ve rebuilt your life, put him / her on a normal list, so she can see the work you’ve accomplished. The watchword here is: Curiosity.
You have to make your ex curious. Because he / she will always try to find out what’s going on with you. Plus if you unfriend your ex, and you want to get her back, it will look stupid to re-add her again. It’s like sending the message: “Yeah, I’ve deleted you, but please add me, I’m sorry…”
Kamal, thanks for these valuable tips, can you add a final word?
Thank you Antoine! It was a pleasure to share my experience here… and if I had one last word to say, it’s that our lives should never revolve around ONE man or ONE woman, it should be based on our lifestyle, our social lives, our future plans and our interests.